It is like the devil wants to win its attempt not only to corrupt but to destroy the richest culture in the world; Yoruba culture.
Yet Culture is the solution to the problems and challenges of living.
Which one is not worth bemoaning; is it the respect for elders, strong family ties and values, the ‘omoluabi’ attribute? Sorry for the digression, the ebbing of culture attributes is scary and foreboding.
Adopting an idea hook, line and sinker makes the greatest stupidity in a man without understanding the history and reasons behind it.
None of our rich culture is worth toying with in the first place, but destroying the spirit behind marriage is like uprooting the pedestal (foundation) of a structure; marriage is not only a product of family, it is a continuation of it. And family is the source of a community, a society, a nation, a country and the world.
A crazy idea it is for a young man that ‘fried’ his hair and has pierced his ear to host ear ring (all pass time for women) to feign arrest by the police to overawe his lover only to kneel and bring out a ring to propose marriage.
It is weird culture, it is unwholesome and it is crazy.
For all you care to know,issues for determination in marriage ar
e;
- Is marriage between two people or among families?
- Who is the stronger among both to protect the weaker?
- Who is to provide for the other?
In the eon of time in Yoruba land, a potential suitor sees a single girl who is a potential spouse and make some appeals. At that stage it is between both. If there is synergy along the line, they are expected to intimate their parents. Most times the mother hears first. The mother factors the philosophy and deeper pathologies of the father to know how to break the news to him.
Aunties and uncles hear about it and they go on secret findings about the families of both sides in the project; the suitor’s and the potential spouse.
The family wants to know the facts about the history, traits, and character index of the family of their potential in-laws. Do they live to ripe age? Do they have traits of a kind of sickness? Are they criminally inclined? It is holistic a finding.
Thereafter they seek spiritual foresight about the potential relationship. Will their spirit complement and blend? Will they make progress in life as husband and wife? Will they be blessed with the fruits of the womb? And so on.
If these findings return positive results then they can get to the next stage of getting to know larger family members.
What applies here are maturity against exuberance, experience against rawness of the potential couple.
So where does staging a robbery attack in order to enthral a lover fit into the robust process stated above?
Yes times are hard in Nigeria but the family is the surest bet to reverse and resolve all the incongruities surrounding cultural processes free fall.
“We had affairs…it was a fling sha!”
They have adopted words that have no foundation in our language and culture. “We are dating.”
These days you hear phrases like “Osanle and Iganniko are dating.” (Euphemism for orgasm).
Ha! Surrendering the most intimate thing in you and being proud to assume is a normal process? Are you a dog for cross breeding or for offering yourself without dignity?
Dating is a word for other culture and if you care to know, its denotation to them is not the connotation to us.
Dating is meant to understand who you are seeing with possible intent to have a committed relationship with time.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that marriage is for two persons to the extent that they love each other and have synergy and tolerable understanding each other’s weaknesses. Marriage is more of some families; it should neither be bastardized nor trivialized for the sake of larger societal social stability that starts from the nuclear family.
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